Monday, September 05, 2005 || *NØT BEAUTIFUL* (prepare for a shocker)
- "For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand." - Romans 7:19-21
This post will be the toughest one for me to write-up, for I am greatly troubled even @ this pt. of time, @ this very moment.
Be prepared, cuz I'm gonna sound real serious from this pt. onwards. Dun be shocked brothers and sisters in Christ, for wat I'm goin thru now is the greatest testing of faith I've yet to receive. A test I muz overcome with God. A personal battle, so dat I may take another step of faith in living for Him dat haf called me to His ways.
It all began last Sunday when I came back from church and fellowship to finish off a project. A project which would eventually lead to my spiritual demise. I turned to frustration after having to retry, reprint, and redesign this Card assignment I was working on. Thr was tantrum, thr was anger, and thr was hatred towrds myself for being unable to even execute a seemingly simple assignment consisting of glossy paper, printer ink, pen-knives, scissors and wat not.
I believe it was from dat pt. that the flesh consumed the spirit.
Events dat followed: havin only 5 hrs of slp for the past few dayz alrdy much thnx to my assignments. A dismal songleadin' @ G12 (and I was late for it). No motivation nor drive to work. NO PLACE FOR GOD!
I believe God has a will and a way for all of us, and its easy to think dat when things r goin rite. Wat if circumstances change to hurt u? Wat if they start sucking the very life out of u? Will u still serve God? Will u 'be STILL and noe he's God'?
Dats my situation rite now. I'm not doin enough for God so he can do a work in me! I'm doin wat the world thinks is gd for me! The circumstances draw me away from Him instead of towards Him. Am I becomin' a hypocrite? No, I WILL NOT.
Help me to fight back O Lord! Help me to fight back!
Pls pray for me. Devil's implanting evil thoughts in me. He is working slowly, but surely, and one day if I'm not careful... surely he will consume me. God's challenge to me is now a personal battle. For sure thr's a need for drastic measures, and only God is the ONLY hope I haf now.
My salvation rests in ur hands now O God, who thru Jesus, binded the powers of darkness in this world.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do: sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit." - Romans 8:1-5
Thr is still a chance to turn back...
I muz fight the Devil. I'm gonna do battle - a battle dat rages in me. Not by my might, not by my power... but by the Holy Spirit. In a few mins time I gonna pray, down on my knees. I will defy the powers of darkness In the Name of Jesus, even if it brings me to sweat.
Tohster was left alone
on 12:47 am
Da' MaN
+Toh Zhi Hao Samuel
a.k.a TºZºHa0º
+15.02.88
+NYP/Digital Media Design [DMD]
† Christian †`
Evangel Family Church
+darque_wolf@hotmail.com
+Influences: Jesus | Raisins | Net surfing | Hip-Hop/R&B/Alt. Rock | Music Videos | Sci-Fiction |
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"To everything there's a season; a time for every purpose under Heaven." - Ecc 3:1
"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called children of God." - Matt 5:9
"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." - Gal 5:24
"He disarmed the principalities and powers and made a public example of them, triumphing over them in him." - Col 2:15
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments.His praise endures forever." - Psalm 111:10
ReP!
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[+]Another post of my daily life cuz I've got nothing...
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[+]So±CAUGHT±Up
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[+]Long, Long Time Ago, In a Galaxy... Actually its h...
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