Monday, September 14, 2009 || Goodbye. So Long. For Now.
- Yep, ok. I'll make this short.
In than 9 hours I'll be enlisting into National Chalet. Yep. It's finally here.
Thanks to everyone for their encouragement and kind [albeit, semi-sarcastic] words. Will be seeing you guys v. soon.
I think it's gonna be a good time to think my life over, dats if I haf any energy left at the end of the day to say the least. TBH, I'll be leaving behind many memorable moments, and at the same time, many painful memories. Time will heal all wounds I guess. NS is probably gonna take my mind off all the needless worries and really juz knock me out. If you're reading this, keep yours truly in prayer. I'm melancholic, but life goes on. B'sides, everyone's been telling me how much fun it really is when you haf the right mindset.
Ok, It's lights out for me. One last moment with my bed, and, alas, it's go time.
"Training to be soldier, fight for our land.. Once in our life, two years of our time..."
Peace out & GB.
P.S. I'm diggin' the new hairstyle. Bad hair days BEGONE! xD
Ĥ°0°Ġ was left alone
on 1:10 AM
Friday, September 11, 2009 || My |)/-\ys Ar3 NuMb3r3d
- So fast... and it's 3 more days left. With every passing day, the ticking on the clock gets louder, and I'm finding it harder to sleep. Hah... might even perish the thought of sleeping on the eve of enlistment.
As mentioned b4, it's flurry of mixed emotions. I LOL whenever I hear the word "flurry". Reminds me of that time when the aunty at McDonald's pronounced it as 'Mak-Fla-li' [McFlurry]..
Going off track there.
I'm really grateful to everyone who's encouraged me as of late, esp. my parents. Yep, that includes my dad who's been through the ancient days of NS. Now those stories of the gd ol' days of "chiong sua" become so much more applicable. Haha!
Then again, those were old times. He keeps reminding me NS is so much better now, and that includes the lodging. Well... that's comforting, considering that I'm going to miss my queen-sized mattress for the first 2 weeks. Arrgggghhh!
Speaking about missing things, I'm soooo going to miss my YCG. Haha. We had a rather... uhm... unqiue W Party on Wednesday. First time I ever had a party in relative darkness, thanks to Town Council not fixing the lamp at the shelter where we BBQ'd at. My feelings got cheated again! And the pictures taken exactly of stellar quality. We looked as if we were having an illegal gathering, HAH! Nontheless, the guests really enjoyed themselves. We finally had the biggest attendance yet, thanks to the many unexpected guests who came along. Many thanks to Pastor Alan for lending us a helping hand as well. You must consider that with only 3 regulars around, we were seriously understaffed. Thank God everything went well, even the Kung Fu Panda screening [a movie which I think is a little too underrated].
I dun feel like sleeping. I want to extend my time here in my own abode! Yeah... denial ain't only a river in Egypt. Really... I wish I had more time to spare. For friends. For family.
They say: "you never know what you've got till it's gone."
How true...
Peace out and GB.
Ĥ°0°Ġ was left alone
on 12:49 AM
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 || M|X3D Em0t10ns
- Lol... if you were confused by my last post, I apologize very much. It's not easy to decipher when one speaks in 3rd person. Haha. Call it whatever you want. Sometimes expressing yourself in that manner gets much needed anxiety off your chest - at least for me.
It's down to 6 more days. I'm really going to miss a lot of people. You really never know what you've got till it's gone. The time and opportunities you never cherished are snatched away in an instant. 6 days will seem like a walk in the park compared to the next 2 years. I'm counting on it to change me.
Yeah, people tell me I'm a kid stuck in a young man's body. No one makes that more clear than my sis. Seriously, I might start appreciating those words after a few days in Tekong. Everyone says PTP makes life easier for you during BMT. Guess God has a purpose for everything, though I still haf that wanting to stay out juz a while longer. Haiz...
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
I'm really grateful to a close brother and confidant. Though he may not be reading this, juz wanna give a shout out. You know who are *hyuk hyuk*. Yeah... he shared with me a lot of spiritual truths as of late, which really set me reflecting about my own life and the circumstances around it. Life hasn't been a whole lot fair to me as of late. Maybe becuz I'm so free these days to the point where I juz get myself into a lot of unnecessary trouble. I thank God for such friends in my life. We should never take them for granted. Dun wait till it's NS [or for something terrible to happen] - it'll be too late then.
Sounds like I'm writing a chain letter or something. HAH!
Life alone at home everyday can swing both ways. That could explain why one moment I can be extremely high, and the in the next moment become really anal about stuffs. Tried occupying my time with Maya and gesture drawing, but I'm too used to working under pressure. No pressure = no intestinal fortitude. Lol. I can forsee dat my weekends will eventually be spent trying to catch up, which brings me to ponder on my future; more specifically, where should I further my studies..
Guess that's what the 2 years are for; supposing I get a slack unit life. I hope...
I'll shall continue updating this space till my days in urban Singapore are numbered. I might consider shutting this blog down once for all then. The idea of sharing your feelings on the WWW does not entice me as much as it used to. We'll see where this leads up to.
Music video time again~!
This is a cute one from m-flo [extremely popular rap group in Japan] and Monkey Majik [a gaijin band based in Japan]. Enjoy!
Blogger finally loves me again!
Peace out & GB.
Ĥ°0°Ġ was left alone
on 12:24 AM
Wednesday, September 02, 2009 || N0t3 T0 S3lf..
- Hey you! YEAH, I'm talking to you. Like... dude, sup with you man?
To say you've been behaving awkwardly would be an understatement. I mean... seriously man, it can't be that bad rite?
It's juz another phase that every male in Singapore has to go thru. It's gonna be fine. Really...
Yeah, stop ranting about your mixed emotions and all that. Your brain is cluttered enough as it is. So don't worry k?...
... like, you've rising up early, watching too much of them ol' Ch. 8 dramas, walking into the wrong elevators, drawing gestures for an hour or more, waxing lyrical about being home alone, freaking people out...
... this is not the Sam I know.
The Sam I noe eats alone, watches WAAAAAAAYYY too much Kamen Rider, does 3D Modelling for kicks, and NEVER wakes up early unless he has relief teaching and assignments to grind for..
... YEAH! Not to mention you've been spamming people on MSN. U'd rather be spamming bullets on TF2... at least, that's wat you usually do when you've got free time on your hands.
Really, this makes the instance of you talking to the wanton in your noodle soup PALE in comparison.
Haiz...
Given the choice, who wouldn't wanna pull out? If there's anything to look forward to, it's of you becoming more of a man and less of the, well, nonsensical, half-wit self dat you are rite now. OK, you're not a half-wit... you're juz REALLY insensitive. You deserve to shed more than juz a tear for wat you did!
Ok, I wun bash ur pride in any further. Juz look to God, k? I dun understand much of wat u're going thru as well. All I know is that... you juz need to trust Him.
Those that wait upon the Lord shall rise up on eagle's wings, aite?
I know, easier said than done; but there's no other way, is there? He's the only One who holds your future. And... you've got your parents, your sister, your frens. Cherish them in this next 1.5 weeks, but don't make it sound like IT'S THE END OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!
...kk, chill. I'm not going to say any more.
Jehovah Jireh... remember that!
If God brings you to it, He WILL bring you through it.
*EPIC CUTSCENE*
BEFORE:
AFTER:
Blogger haz phailed meh. HTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLHTMLasd123....
Peace out & GB.
Ĥ°0°Ġ was left alone
on 10:38 PM
Monday, August 31, 2009 || Food 4 Thought
- I thought I'd post some videos that really spoke to my heart. First one really spoke to me, since it's 2 weeks b4 I enlist, but yet there's so much unfinished business, both spiritually and emotionally, to clear up. I'm trusting in God's perfect timing, which is never according to our schedule but always timely, to deliver when the time comes.
The 2nd one... well.. I was just so touched after singing it at service ytd. "God forgive us for not comprehending how much Your love extends. Grant us a greater compassion for the lost.."
We Live
There's a cross on the side of the road
Where a mother lost a son
How could she know that the morning he left
Would be the last time she'd trade with him for a little more time
So she could say she loved him one last time
And hold him tight
But with life we never know
When we're coming up to the end of the road
So what do we do then
With tragedy around the bend?
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
There's a man who waits for the tests
To see if the cancer has spread yet
And now he asks, "So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?"
If I could have the time back how I'd live
Life is such a gift
So how does the story end?
Well this is your story and it all depends
So don't let it become true
Get out and do what we were meant to do
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
Waking up to another dark morning
People are mourning
The weather in life outside is storming
But what would it take for the clouds to break
For us to realize each day is a gift somehow, someway?
So get our heads up out of the darkness
And spark this new mindset and start to live life cuz it ain't gone yet
And tragedy is a reminder to take off the blinders
And wake up and live the life we're supposed to take up
Moving forward with all our heads up cuz life is worth living
We live we love
We forgive and never give up
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love
God of the Moon.
God of the moon and stars
God of the gay and singles bars
God of the fragile hearts we are, I come to you
God of our history, god of the future that will be
What will you make of me, I come to you
God of the meek and mild,
God of the reckless and the wild
God of the unreconciled, I come to you
God of our life and death
God of our secrets unconfessed
God of our every breath, I come to you
God of the rich and poor
God of the princess and the whore
God of the ever open door, I come to you
God of the unborn child
God of the pure and undefiled
God of the pimp and pedophile, I come to you
God of the war and peace
God of the junkie and the priest
God of the greatest and the least, I come to you
God of the refugee
God of the prisoner and the free
God of our doubt and certainty, I come to you
God of our joy and grieve
God of the lawyer and the thief
God of our faith and unbelief, I come to you
God of the wounds we bear
God of the deepest dreams we share
God of our unspoken prayer, I come to you
God of a world that´s lost
God of the lonely cross
God who has come to us, I come to you
Peace out & GB.
Ĥ°0°Ġ was left alone
on 10:50 AM
Da' MaN
+Toh Zhi Hao Samuel
a.k.a TºZºHa0º
+15.02.88
+NYP/Digital Media Design [DMD]
† Christian †`
Evangel Family Church
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+Influences: Jesus | Raisins | Net surfing | Hip-Hop/R&B/Alt. Rock | Music Videos | Sci-Fiction |
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"To everything there's a season; a time for every purpose under Heaven." - Ecc 3:1
"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called children of God." - Matt 5:9
"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." - Gal 5:24
"He disarmed the principalities and powers and made a public example of them, triumphing over them in him." - Col 2:15
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments.His praise endures forever." - Psalm 111:10
ReP!
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[+]Goodbye. So Long. For Now.
[+]My |)/-\ys Ar3 NuMb3r3d
[+]M|X3D Em0t10ns
[+]N0t3 T0 S3lf..
[+]Food 4 Thought
[+]Sam has been...
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